The Apple of my eye ๐ŸŽ๐Ÿ๐Ÿ’–


For those who follow my blog you know I have written about my dad, my wonderful boyfriend Steve and my first born daughter Hope. But I have yet to write about my youngest daughter Julia. Although I have alot of family/friends that I will eventually write about, I figured I would at least start my writing journey about the family I live with and take care of everyday ๐Ÿ˜ 

When I found out I was pregnant with Julia it was at a very high point in my life. Things were going very well for me and Hope. We had moved into a great apartment. I had gotten out of a tumultuous relationship and had found full time employment.  With my life changing for the better I had decided to let go of some of my anger I had and went out with that ex boyfriend a few times …nothing serious….or so I thought! I wound up pregnant๐Ÿ˜ฎ I was 26 and I was finally giving Hope the life she deserved and now there was another fork in the road. The man I had been with was not in a position to help me. He was a struggling addict and although I felt bad for him and thought maybe he would change I knew that having this baby would be all on me. I would have to do this alone. Other than family members or friends it was going to be me and me alone raising 2 babies๐Ÿ˜ฏ 

As I have said before Hope definitely gave me the courage to love another baby , so there I was, a single mom about to give birth to baby number 2 and I was ecstatic!! I couldn’t wait to meet her. Hope was so cute when we were waiting for Julia to arrive. She helped pick out everything I bought for her or helped set up things the way she wanted it for her little sister. It was great but terrifying at the same time. 

When she finally arrived I was instantly in love โค she was amazing. It’s like she was the answer to what we needed. We were now a family. I remember looking at Hope and seeing myself in her but as Julia grew up when I looked at her it was like seeing my twin ๐Ÿ™Š it amazes me the difference between them even to this day. 

Things haven’t always been great with the 2 girls. They are 6 years apart and live in two different worlds but the love they share is palpable. Julia has not had it easy. Her father was not capable of being in her life. Don’t get me wrong, she had and has alot of people in her life that care for her, it’s not the same as a dads love๐Ÿ˜” I am not a saint as I have said before. My choices have not always been great for my kids. We have moved alot and changed schools and I have let questionable boyfriends into our lives. These girls of mine are resilient. All these things we went through made us closer as a family. As the years have gone by and even with the forks in the road that we had to come to, we have made it as a family! Julia and Hope are the loves of my life both in their own ways. Julia has had to endure the death of her father in the last few years which was very hard for all of us. Everyday I look at Julia I see him in her facial expressions or mannerisms. It breaks my heart to know all she has had to go through but Julia is a force. Even with all she has gone through she is so strong. Too strong sometimes ๐Ÿ˜‚ 

Which leads me to the title….apple of my eye. Not only does she look alot like me she is exactly me as a little person๐Ÿ™ƒ Her attitude and bad desicion making and loud mouth are just a start๐Ÿ˜‚ all that coupled with her huge heart and tremendous love she is a force to be reckoned with for sure. She has changed my life in many ways. Both my girls have. I have so much love for them it’s so hard for me to express it. They bring joy to my life and have guided me like little guardian angels to make the right descions in life and be the mother I am today. 
Even though she was unexpected and came into this world like a wrecking ball, she has added to our family in so many ways and she definitely has all of our heartsโคโค 

Some people might say “why would you share these stories with people you don’t know?” The simple answer is why would I  not? They are so amazing and one day they will go back and read these posts and know in their heart that I love them more than I could sayโค and I can share with the world how beautiful and talented they are. ๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ’

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