The choice to be a stay at home mom and how we all made the decision as a family……

Well as I mentioned before, I am currently a stay at home mom. It hasn’t always been that way. I had my first child when I was 20 and my second when I was 26. I was also their sole provider so I had to work in order to provide for my kids. I always ended up working go nowhere jobs that paid minimum wage. All that did was pay the bills and help me provide as much as I could for my girls. It never made me feel worthy of being their mom and I felt like I was going no where. Until one day I was offered a dream job. A job that would pay me well and offer benefits for the girls and endless possibilities of moving up. I submerged myself into everything work. I was gone from the house all day for 6 days a week and it was starting to take a toll on my family. I started caring more about work more than what my girls were going through. I noticed their grades were slipping, they were talking to me less and it felt like we were loosing our relationship. I would try to balance things but all I would hear from the girls was ” why do you care…. it’s not like you’re ever home!” Hearing that was like a jab at my heart. I knew I had to change things immediately or things were going to start getting worse. I started trying to be home more and leave work at work but things were just falling apart. One day I went into work and was told that I was being laid off from a job I had for 4 years. The job I had always wanted. Even though I knew it was probably for the best, like an act of intervention from god, I stared worrying about how I would provide for my kids. At some point in everyone’s life you question “what’s the next step? how do I move on from this?” well the simple answer for me was I was going to do everything possible to figure out how to continue providing for them but also be home more to be here for them as a mother and help guide them. I had some advantages as I had regular income from other sources. All I had to do was make sure everything was paid each month and try to do as much as I could from home to help provide for our family. Whatever I had to do to achieve this I was prepared to do. As this revelation had hit me I also did realize that my children are older and attend school daily so I did have time to get a part-time job. My boyfriend was so amazing at this point. This all happened around the time we had begun dating and he knew how many changes that were happening and the emotional time I was going through. He watched me apply for job after job and get no where. I was so depressed. I felt like I wasn’t good enough, that no one wanted to hire me. It started affecting all aspects of my life. The girls were amazing during all of this too. They could tell I was struggling but they would continually express how happy they were that I was home more. I tried focusing on other things to help get me out of my rut. I have always been into arts and history so I started researching things. I started doing art and DIY projects at home, either alone or with the girls. I felt like I was opening up again. Like I was finding a way to deal with other issues I was having with employment. Until one day Steven and I had a conversation that would change everything. We had a genuine heart to heart talk about responsibilities and expectations regarding our family and bills. We both have our own sources of income which pay our portions of our bills and although Steven is in a better position to save money I am able to save what I can when I can. So after discussing all of that he did the most amazing thing. He looked at me and said ” we are able to be a functioning family only because of you. We would all be better off with you staying home and spending the much-needed time with the kids and taking on the responsibilities of the house. I will go to work and that way we have the best of both worlds.” I couldn’t believe what he was saying. He was encouraging me to spend time with my kids and follow some of my dreams at the same time. I am finally able to be an active parent in my children’s life. I am now able to not only take care of all the household duties but to be involved in the girl’s education and extracurricular activities. I have begun to write which to anyone that knows me has always been a passion of mine, and I have also developed an interest in design and been able to produce some great art as well. Our lives function better now then they ever have. I know some people might say that’s so old-fashioned and not socially acceptable to which I say if you were in my situation would you not do the same thing? I am able to do all this because of the amazing family I have. They support me more and more everyday. I am honored to be able to have this chance. This is the path I was supposed to take. I can feel it……:)

 

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