Definition of a great man ….

A few years ago a great man entered our lives. A man who has changed the dynamic of our family. A man the kids and I could finally trust completely.  I would like to share our story because I think its important for other single mothers who are raising their children alone to know that you are not alone. There are fears every woman has about allowing someone new into their kids life. Like in my case. I have 2 children from 2 different fathers. Both children do not see their fathers for different reasons and its mostly been all their lives. I haven’t  always made the best choices when it comes to men in my life… its a mistake most women make. I didn’t always understand my worth or my children’s worth. Until a few years ago the men I did allow in our lives were not nice to me or to my kids. They tried changing us and it pulled me and my girls apart. I could never understand how these men could treat my amazing kids this way until one day I realized that not only was I the one allowing it to happen but my children were suffering and I was letting them grow up under a strangers rules and feeling unloved. I realized that we needed a change. We needed to be able to spend time together just us… getting to know each other again because we had lost our connection. We moved into a very nice new house and I forgot all about having a man or someone else to help me raise the girls. I believed in myself that I was going to create an amazing life for all of us. And that is exactly what I did. I have a very strong relationship with my girls. So when I met Steven I was in a very good spot in my life. I was more confident in myself and what I wanted and did not want in our lives. When we started dating each other I knew from the moment we met Steven was going to change my life for the better. I had learned a lot from the previous mistakes I had made and decided it was time for me to get to know him without the kids involved. I needed to make sure that if I was going to allow someone into our lives it was going to be someone who was worthy. And so it began. Not only did I fall in love with him more and more each day but he became my very best friend. I have never been in a relationship like ours. We compliment each other in every way. He is so kind, generous, loving and warm and I couldn’t believe how much I had been missing in my life. After a year of dating we both decided that we were definitely in love we were ready to introduce the girls into our lives together. I was very worried….not in the sense that he was going to be bad for them, but more worried about the girls feelings. As I had said they had been through a lot because of the mistakes I had made and the last thing I wanted was for them to be upset about my decision. I did have a very strong feeling that because of the man Steven is and how he treated me that the girls would see he was different. And I was right. From the very first moment they met him I knew they were going to be close. And that’s exactly what happened. We started spending lots of time with them together. I could see that they were developing a very strong bond. We would do things together as a family. Steven would have a couple days off during the week and on those days we would always be doing something with the girls. As a man that works as hard as he does you would think that he would go hang out with his friends or want to do his own things as a man who lived on his own with few responsibilities but as each week came and went he focused all his time on me and my kids. We would talk about it and I would say to him how much I enjoyed spending time together as a family and he would always say if we are going to be a family all together one day then we need to make sure we all get to know each other and he would say how much he wanted to take care and love all of us. He would go out of his way to tell the girls how wonderful they are and how much joy they have brought to his life and I would watch them together and I could literally see their eyes light up and their hearts opening up for him. Pretty soon all they ever wanted to do was see Steve. They developed an honest to god friendship with him that has become so strong it has added so much joy to our lives. He stepped into our lives knowing all of my faults and past mistakes as well as knowing how hard we had fought to be happy and did something no man has ever done. He has always told them ” I may not be your father and I’m certainly not going to be your disciplinary parent but I am going to love you and take care of you and be your friend forever”. And that is exactly what he is.  He treats them with such respect and admiration and that has gained their trust and respect in return. We are all so happy. Even when it came to moving in together we wanted to be sure the girls were included in every decision and that’s exactly what we did. We have all never been happier. Steven has taken on big responsibilities when it comes to our family and it takes my breath away that he has done all he has done for my girls. I have never met someone like him. He is what I have been looking for my whole life. A man that not only is my best friend but a man who loves my children as much as I do and treats them with the respect they deserve. Everything that led up to this point was a test or lesson or mountain I’ve had to climb to get to him. I know now that we will be happy forever, as one big family filled with love, laughter, joy, happiness, and trust. Together we will raise OUR children the best way we can. And oh how sweet it is for the girls to finally have a step dad that they love and trust and can go to for anything. I know that this great man will love them and cherish them always. And that… that is the definition of a great man !

 

 

 

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2 thoughts on “Definition of a great man ….

  1. WOW, I had tears in my eyes reading this . We are so proud of how Steven has turned into the man he is . He also had his own challenges growing up but overcame them . ( most of them , LOL!)

    Liked by 1 person

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